Rules of the Scrumweasel
- The Scrumweasel sniffs out Weasel Words.
- The Scrumweasel says nothing – just looks at you with its beady little eyes.
- Only you know if the Scrumweasel is looking at you.
- No team members should acknowledge the Scrumweasel.
- The Scrumweasel is not interested in your excuses – even if they’re perfectly valid.
- Keep the Scrumweasel happy – just don’t make eye contact!
Beware the Scrumweasel!
Nobody knows, in truth, where the Scrumweasels comes from. Some say they are drawn to the positive energy created by a team trying to succeed in the turbulent world of Agile development. Others believe they feed on the remains of abandoned Post-It notes.
Imprinted in the Scrumweasel’s brain are the Rules of the Daily Scrum. Just as a pig can hunt for truffles and a chicken lays eggs, a Scrumweasel understands the three questions that each team member must answer:
- What did you do yesterday which advanced the project?
- What will you achieve today?
- What hurdles stand in your way?
Their highly developed noses sniff out Weasel Words in the Daily Scrum. Words such as:
- “Nearly done” (which means “not done”)
- “soon”, or “probably later today” (which means “tomorrow”)
- “I’ll see what’s on the board” (which means “I haven’t looked at the backlog for a while”)
Upon hearing Weasel Words, the Scrumweasel does not react – at most, it will glare at you for a while. It’s not interested in your excuses, of course – even if they’re valid.
But if the Scrumweasel turns its eyes on you, then you – and you alone – will know.
It’s difficult – nay impossible – to avoid the Scrumweasel’s gaze entirely. But you can keep it placated. Try some of these:
- “This task is not yet done. I still have to do the unit tests. It’ll be done by lunchtime.”
- “This task is not yet done. I’m stumped. Can anyone help me?”
- “By the end of the day I will have finished the coding, but not the testing.”
- “I’ll pick up the logging bug, if it’s still available.”
There’s always room for improvement – the Scrumweasel understands this – and it visits good teams as well as bad. Ultimately, just like a little whiskered Avatar of Agile, it hopes to inspire us all to be just a little bit better than we were before.